Who am I? What am I? Where am I?

This post is actually not as a deep as the title

but when have I ever gotten that deep 

tricked ya!

Before I get into the whole working out shenanigans lets just talk about this movie

It was one of my faves growing up I cant remember if I was in middle school or High School I just remember watching it over and over again and thinking this SHIT is SO STUPID

but I cant stop laughing

it was also disturbing with its gruesome jokes but as a kid 

i was like yolo this shit is funny

So here are some of my fave 

Kung Pow Gifs

(also I am terribly sad that there wasn't a sequel)

First you have the innocent not so innocent bitch

You also have jam packed Cow Fights whaaa

This bitch is always whining tho

lolololol

I have never looked at milk duds the same way

I hope that when I get pregnant one day way later way way later down in life that my kid learns karate in the womb because it will be the future and there will be such a thing

(can someone work on this, cool thanks)

this guy tho, he is my spirit animal

lololol

OK 

That's enough gif's now moving on...

So I haven't worked out in a VERY long time because you know 

shit happens 

life happens, suddenly your like BAE you want some 

XXXXXXL Nachos to go with 

our Netflix marathon of the X FILES?? 

yaaaas bomb dot com

6 seasons later your like of FUCK these pants don't fit

NOOOOOOOOOOO

Its tough man and even more so being a girl 

I go through food phases and a week before my period

 I am a manic and things get weird

So I obviously just finished my period so now I'm back in the

 GAME BITCHES

game on

(blog intensifies with music)

So Women's Elite Boxing here in Houston is super rad 

I always have the best work outs

basically i cant walk the next day or squat to pee 

So yes a great work out 

(also deal ends tomorrow for their $25 for 5 classes

 and the $40 for 8 classes get chu some)

I had to mentally prepare myself all day

I did forget that you cant have heavy food for lunch 

I had spring rolls and sesame chicken

Guilty AF

I mean like i literally had to hold my breath so that I wouldn't puke on the mat

Legit 10 minutes into warm up I was like hold the phone

I looked over at Jessica and she gave me this look like I cannot believe I agreed to do this with you

It was a combination of something like this:

and as I laid there on the mat I couldn't help but to regret all of my life choices

and by life choices i mean grub choices

but you have to start somewhere right

so be the change yo

and this is

Me walking today:

P.S

Don't you wish working out was like this?

Much Fun, Many Lol's

Kishi Bashi (its fun to say over and over)

Kishi Bashi

The Ballard of Mr.Steak

So the other day I was listening to Father John Misty

&&&&&&

Kishi Bashi came on and I was instantly hooked 

He goes so hard on the violin makes me want to take classes lol

Yes I get obsessed pretty fast I cant help it I'm sure we all do I just take it to level savage

#NoShame

Anyways it is now my soul purpose to explain in GIF's how his music makes me feel 

ok your with me on this right it will be quick promise

this is your chance to walk away 

Ok those who stayed 

His voice is like can I have it in girl version?

he starts playing slow like

and if i could explain what i feel in gifs 

it would be along the lines of:

That is it Soak it all in

Thank You Kishi Bashi you have brought back my creative juices.

Maybe I will actually finish my paintings lolol

Can I hire someone?

Can I hire someone to break my shoes in?

You know the drill:

You are online shopping and you see them and and and they are on sale!

ahhhhhhhh shiiiiiiit

BUY it BITCH

and so the wait begins checking online every second to make sure your package is being

PREPARED 

ON ROUTE

yaaaaas its on the way

then its here!

the moment of truth

yes yes yes

Looking FLY AF

now lets take a few steps

FYAAAAA

You start thinking of all the social events you are gonna flash these bad boys:

but then....

2 minutes into making angels sing things turn

ok ok i got this

"SO i sit for most of the day anyways it will be fine"

It starts to sting so you check things make sure its copacetic

Fuck i Fucked Up I HATE THESE SHOES WHYYYY

SOMEONE GET THE BAND AIDS!!!

(note to self, do not GOOGLE "Hurt Ballerinas feet")

I purposely posted this pic because I almost barfed 

I feel the pain in my bones...
So yea can someone start a business and get the app rolling 
cool
thanks in advance

THE END

My Shoe Dance

When SH*! gets REAL

Are you ever at work just straight chilling

Browsing the internets you know

Sipping on yo coffee like:

soooo goooood amirite

but then you get this rumble:

and you are in denial because how could your delicious coffee betray you like that:

so you decide ok maybe I should start walking:

the accountant wants to chit chat with you about how the math is just not adding up and your like

Hold that thought BITCH

So you get to your final destination:

RELEASE

You hope no one heard the million farts you let out before you exploded but at this point YOLO

You are so HAPPY you made it to the toilet CONGRATULATIONS

you made it without actually shitting yourself you might have gotten a bit of a back splash but you made it and I am so HAPPY

you clean up shop

then you remember fuck I wiped too much idk if its all going to FLUSH

So you panic

To flush or not to flush???

so you suck it up and just go for it

SHIT IS GETTING REAL

Everything is coming up and you do the panic dance

I also found this other gif which doesn't really apply to MY panic dance but its fucking great so I have to share it:

Isn't it great lol

yaaas yaaas yaaas

OK

You go straight for the plunger:

You cant help but think how many dirty hands have touch this too

WORK IT GIRL

(poo to the face has never actually happened to me FYI)

It finally starts to go down and you have never been oh so relieved.

This panic attack happens every 2-3 months lololol

the End

(yes i do talk a lot about poo I know but someone has too!)